Getting more support from your spouse, with Monica Tanner

Getting more support from your spouse, with Monica Tanner

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Jake Anderson  0:01  
All right, welcome everybody back to another episode of The introspective podcast. And I've got a very special surprise today, especially for my married entrepreneurs. We don't we haven't really gone into marriage on this show. And I was thinking about it the other day. And I was like, I need to bring this into the conversation here because marriage and entrepreneurship, it's, it's like marriage and entrepreneurship. There's a lot of parallels to it. And I think it's something that we really need to dive into. And I know a lot of my listeners are married, they have young families, and it's certainly a challenge. So I had reached out to Monica Tanner, and that is who I'm joined with today, my special guest Monica Tanner, and she is a wife to a Huggy man, a boss mom to four small humans. She's also a weekly podcaster. At on the brighter side of marriage in a relationship and intimacy. Sex, Burt Monica firmly believes that there are no two people on planet Earth, who love each other more than she and her husband, and would love to help you believe that about your own marriage as well. She also believes that as a passionate female entrepreneurs, we can have at all a strong marriage, a supportive family and a successful business without any guilt or having to give up anything that is important to you. She helps women create a marriage that supports their business in a business that supports their marriage, which I absolutely love. And that's what we're really going to dive in in today's episode. So I welcome to the show. Monica Tanner Monica, how are you doing today?

Monica Tanner  1:37  
Thank you. I'm doing so great. Thank you so much for having

Jake Anderson  1:40  
me. Absolutely. It's a pleasure and an honor. And, you know, we were talking before the show just the importance of marriage. And I remember one of the things that really, if you ever just followed somebody online, and like they said something that just really like sucked you in and kind of like almost puts you in your place for a minute to maybe think and shift some perspective about things. And well, that's that's what happened with me when I was following your content. I saw that interview you had with class. Vaughn Alster, how always mess his name up, I think it's outside our house. And you were talking about that number one productivity tip, which is, you know, the most focusing on the most important, you know, relationship in your business. So I want to kick off with just talking about that relationship of marriage as an entrepreneur, because I think it's very unique than just your typical marriage, your traditional marriage, where they got the nine to five jobs are working, they come home, but when you throw that entrepreneurship factor into the mix, they're like, what's different about that? And what some of the things that you see, to be the challenges, and what do you see the work on with that particular situation?

Monica Tanner  2:49  
Yeah, what a great, great question. Let me give you just a little bit of backstory to kind of set this up a little bit. So I've been married to my husband for about 20 years. And we write when we got married, we decided to start a family as well as a business. And so we work together to start our residential and commercial Pest Control business together. And we grew that business to be very, very, very successful. And we worked very closely together, he did all the servicing and things like that. And I worked in the office and did all the behind the scenes payroll and, and accounting and things like that, until I had three kids. And after I had my third baby, I basically gave him an ultimatum I said, either hire someone to replace me in the business or put me in the funny farm because it was so much for me to handle our our kids, our household and my responsibilities in the business. So at that point, I did kind of the stay at home mom thing for a few years. And I absolutely loved that don't get me wrong, but it was literally the hardest job I've ever had was to just stay home with the kids. So through that experience, we had another baby and then I had four babies at home and I realized I needed a little bit of a creative outlet. So I I created my own business, which was kind of a crafting business and it turned into a larger, larger seasonal boutique. And it really did allow me that creative outlet to use kind of my my business acumen and my creativity to to do something that was very fulfilling to me and I got to bring my kids in to the business. They helped a lot I learned but through that I learned so much about juggling two businesses now for kids at household, my marriage and all the things. Eventually I sold that business, went back to school to become a marriage and family counselor dropped out of school and started podcasting and doing this marriage coaching which I'm doing now, but that is where my love of entrepreneurs and helping entrepreneurs navigate this crazy world of marriage, family life and entrepreneurship. So when you ask what's different about entrepreneurs, and you know, traditional kind of nine to fivers, there's a lot of differences. And, you know, when you get married, we obviously marry somebody very different from ourselves. Gender wise, like personality wise, typically, they say that opposites attract. But when you have an entrepreneur in the relationship, then you get even more of this diversified. A lot of times, you have an entrepreneur who is a dreamer, they're after success, they are a Dewar, they, they have all of these characteristics of entrepreneurship, and typically, they end up attracting someone who is a little bit on the other side of the spectrum, they tend to be a little bit more patient, they tend to be a little more like content. And just, you know, like, like, it's a, it's really a balancing type attraction, I think that happened with people most of the time. And what that does is it creates a lot of just learning in the relationship learning about going at two different paces, right one's going really, really fast and wants to accomplish all the things. And the other one's oftentimes a little bit, you know, like a slower pace and not so driven, right. And so, so yeah, entrepreneurs actually have a little bit of a higher divorce rate, because there are more

things to kind of work out more, more differences that you you have to realize and recognize and learn to appreciate the differences. And when you don't, if you don't learn to honor and appreciate and celebrate the differences, then then you you start to have a lot of trouble and a lot of rub. And so that's, that's basically why I exist. And to answer your question, those are some of the differences. It's just those kind of personality, a little bit of kind of pace wise, and just the different ideals of an entrepreneur versus a non entrepreneur. But then if you have two entrepreneurs, then a lot of times you you have, you know, two different very driven people. And so if you don't manage that and make sure that you're heading in the in the same direction, then you have a lot of rub there, too. So. So that's how entrepreneurship brings a new dimension into the marriage relationship.

Jake Anderson  8:01  
Yeah, and First off, you pretty much exactly describe my marriage. Like, seriously, like, he's just as, like, as I hear it is again, she's in my head, like, she knows, like, what's going on. Like, it really is. I mean, I'm like, in my marriage, I am that entrepreneur, the one that wants to move fast, I got these high, you know, big aspiring goals, and then my wife is very much so more calm, more slow, like, she's, she's just completely different in terms of, you know, where her aspirations are for, for things in life, you know, she's very into it. And I want to say this, like that I'm not, but like, she's more like, into the kids, like, making sure the kids have what they need. And I'm over here, like, being, you know, Mad Max, just like, going crazy on my business. And it does, you know, I think there's, there's a challenge of finding understanding, you know, between the two people because, you know, on one hand, it's, it's, you've got the commonality between the two of you, that brought you together. And that's why you love each other. But then the, on the other hand, you've got two different people, you know, like he had said, and one person is really driven into this vision of what they want to do in their business where the other person just doesn't have that. And it's like, how you reconcile that can be a challenge. But one of the questions that I wanted to ask you, specifically, because I find this to be really interesting is that you ended with talking about both married, married, both both people are married, they're both entrepreneurs, right? And you and your husband started a business together. Tell me about that experience. Because sometimes like, like, how, like, Did that ever test the marriage at all? Like, how did that impact like being in business together as business partners, and married like that, to me sounds like that's pretty pretty. I want to I want to say ambitious but like, I don't know what the word is, but it's really interesting to me because I feel like you There's two very different relationships happening. One's a business, one's a marriage, and like, how did that all work out? For you?

Monica Tanner  10:07  
Yeah, well, it's funny, because you definitely learn a lot about your differences really, really, really quick. I mean, I could not possibly be more type A, like, organize, like, want to know exactly what's going on where everything is. And he couldn't possibly be more the other way where he just, you know, like writing things on post it notes all over the place, like go with the flow, like totally just he knows where things are. And that's all that really matters, right. And so you definitely learn to to understand each other's differences. And what you quickly figure out is that you have different strengths and different weaknesses. And in your into apply to your marriage as well, I do believe that we were attracted to each other for a reason, all of us, any of us, if you're married, I believe that there is a reason why you were attracted to each other, and it is the other person, and under, like coming to understand the other person that will truly make your life meaningful, meaning you will develop into the best version of yourself. And they will develop into the best version of themselves. When you start to really understand each other, and your gifts and your talents, it your talents and your strengths and your weaknesses, and how they form this perfect team together. So So yeah, absolutely. I mean, if you if you want to get a real Crash Course, in learning how to do things differently, I go into business together. And also our businesses now are very, very different from each other. I mean, the way he runs his business is so complete opposite from the way that I run my business. And that brings up an interesting point that I like to talk about is a lot of people when they think about the support that they're getting from their spouse in either their business or in, in managing the household and the kids or whatever it is that they're doing. A lot of times, it's very easy to miss interpret, it's a lack of passion, about your passion, to a lack of support. And so the way I talk to my my clients and my students about this, is don't don't misinterpret his lack of passion for your passion for a lack of passion for you. So just because your things aren't his things, it doesn't mean that you are not his thing. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, I, my business is all around online marketing and intimacy. And my husband does not get into either one of those things. And he, his passion is all around coaching and football and in basketball, and like all these different things, right? I don't necessarily get into those things. But I love watching him do what he is so passionate about. And the same goes for me, he does not get into online marketing or intimacy, but he loves watching the things that I do and watching me get super excited and passionate about. And that's what creates the passion in our marriage. Not that we like the same things or we do the same things or we get excited about the same things. It's that we support each other in the things that we truly get excited about.

Jake Anderson  13:41  
Yeah. So I I'm thinking about times where I have been with my wife in because I'm like, just really, really passionate person about, you know, my business and my you know, what I'm doing in business. And, and even my wife has said to me, she cuz she sees how passionate I am. And, and she hasn't found that for herself. Right? And she's like exploring, it hasn't found it found that for herself. But But I will say like, there have been times where I have come to her and talked about something going on in my business that I'm really, really excited about. And then like what you know, what do people typically do when they say something to somebody or say something that they're really excited about to somebody else is that they look for that equally exciting reaction to it's like, oh my gosh, are you serious? That's amazing. And there have been times where I've done that, and I didn't get that reaction. And it made me feel as if like she wasn't supporting my passion. And that's this exactly how I reacted is like, gosh, is she really even care? like about this? Like, I feel like she doesn't care. And, and then later it turned into conversations where she's like, you know, because I brought it up. It's like I sometimes I just don't feel like you're as into like what I'm doing. And she's like, it's just it's not that she's like honestly, I just don't really understand that. I don't really understand what you do. She's like, sometimes people ask me what you do. And I don't even really know how to explain.

Monica Tanner  15:07  
salutely Yeah, and there's two things about that. One, it's really important to have a support system for what you do, right? entrepreneurship, people say, Oh, it's lonely. It's hard, right? Like nobody, like you don't really understand. And entrepreneurship unless you're like, in the trenches, they're doing that, right. And so it's really important to have your set of peers have mentors of people that get excited about the things that you get excited about, that doesn't have to be your spouse. So make sure that you that you know, who you're talking to when you're talking about certain things. So if you're talking about podcasting, and download numbers, and like, all the different things that they may be, you get really, really excited and passionate about make sure you're talking to like another podcaster, who, like, totally understands that and gets geeks out on the same kind of thing, right? If that's the reaction you want.

Jake Anderson  16:06  
So I'm gonna go No, go ahead and finish because I have another follow up question to this about passion. But no, go please go ahead and finish your thought realize,

Monica Tanner  16:14  
when you're talking to your spouse, who maybe doesn't geek out about those types of things like you do, they geek out about you, and they love you. And so remember that you can still share your like, like, you definitely want to share your passion and your heart and your excitement, your wins and your losses and things like that with your spouse. But just remember, like she said, maybe they don't understand all of the things that you're talking about. But they understand your feelings and your emotions. So like, I'm really excited about this thing that happened. They get that right. Yeah, but maybe they don't understand, like, you know, this many downloads, and it translated into this and blah, blah, blah, like, like to them it's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but they can tell how excited about the blah, blah, blah, that you are, so just remember kind of who you're talking to, and what you're talking to them about, and understand that they they they love you and they're excited for you. They just might not be geeking out on, you know exactly what it is that you're geeking out about?

Jake Anderson  17:22  
Yeah, it's, it's really, it's funny, because there are definitely times where I've found myself going like probably further in detail about whatever's going on. And then you start seeing the eyes glaze over. And they're like, I don't know what he's talking about. But But the thing is, and this is the follow up question that I have for you here talking about passion, right. And like, as entrepreneurs, we're very passionate about what we do in entrepreneurship. And I can only speak for myself here. But I believe that other people can probably relate to what I'm about to say here. And this kind of leads into marriage as well, is that when you're like, for me, like I'm so passionate about my business, that it almost pulls me away from other things where I should be passionate about, you know, even within my own marriage. And I'm, the question I have to ask, in respect to this is finding the things that you like, because as again, as entrepreneurs, we get really passionate, you can kind of pull us away. So how can we find those mutual grounds between you and your spouse, to find his commonalities, the things that we can both really geek out on? and have those moments? And like, Where's that balance that because I find that happening, even in my own marriage? And sometimes it's like, I'm trying to get intentional and more intentional about this and finding those common things. But like, do you have any advice on that?

Monica Tanner  18:49  
Yeah, 100%? I do for sure. So the first thing I asked my couples to do is to create a shared vision, right? So you don't, you definitely don't have to have the same goals and the same aspirations in the same way for sure. But if you have a shared vision, then you can always go back to that shared vision, and start to assess whether what you're doing every day, every week, every month, every quarter, is leading you to your shared vision. So that means start a conversation like where do we want to be? What does success look like to both of us? How does that relate to our family? How does that relate to my business? How does that relate to our lifestyle and where we ultimately want to end up together, right? And then create that shared vision? What is it going to look like when you're standing at that top of that mountain together and recognize that there's going to be there's going to be rough patches, it's going to hail you're going to lose the trail sometimes Seems like all of these things are going to happen as you're climbing this mountain together. But you've got to have this vision of what it's going to look like when you get to the top. Now, you if you have that vision together, now you can always be recognizing if there's a fork in the road, or if you lose the trail somehow, or you're going through a really slick part of your journey, you always want to remember what's at the top, right, because if you know what's at the top, then you'll be able to make the important decisions necessary to get there. So people say start with the end in mind, there's all kinds of like little taglines for this, but just remember, have that conversation with your spouse. What do we want this to look like? When all is said and done, and we are old and gray, and we're standing at the top looking out over all we've accomplished and overcome together? What does that look like?

Jake Anderson  21:05  
It almost seems like with when, when you are an entrepreneur, and especially when you're married, you've got to almost segment your visions, right? Like you've got a vision for your business, you also need to have a vision for your marriage and for your family and with your spouse. And that's that shared vision that you're speaking about, right? It's got to be its own thing that's got that's its own container, right, with where you're actually going together.

Monica Tanner  21:32  
Yeah, but one of the biggest blessings of being an entrepreneur is that you get to your business supports your lifestyle, create designing a business that supports your marriage, and a marriage that supports your business is an art form. And this is what I teach my clients, this is what I work with them on. You don't I mean, if you, if you in your business, if you just create a job for yourself, then you haven't really stepped into entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship is the ability to create the lifestyle that you desire. So you get to choose your own. And that's a tricky balance as well, you get to choose your own hours, you get to choose your priorities, you get to choose when enough is enough, right.

Jake Anderson  22:22  
And so when you have that shared vision together, then you design your business in a way that supports that vision. And that vision informs the choices that you make in your business. Got it. So they really are connected. It's not this mutual, it's not some mutually exclusive thing here, where here's my business vision over here. Here's my marriage vision over here, they don't ever talk to each other just know, they're actually connected. They're overlapping in this integrated vision. But you have to guess the way I see is almost a you got to be intentional about how this is working for my family. And it can like I've been in this trap before I call it the entrepreneur trap. When you actually create a business that feels like a prison sentence and you're just locked. You're you feel you feel trapped in it. And it's it's a, it's a very dark place to be. It's it's unfortunate if that ever happens to you. But you're right. Like you really need to think about the business you're building and the commitments you're signing up for. And how this is going to work for your family. It's like the business shouldn't be the nucleus, it should be the electron, the nucleus should be your family, your lifestyle. And the business is that little electron just flying around that just keeping it intact and maintaining the integrity of the atom. And like that's, I always like to paint visuals in my heads the things with like, the atom. Yeah. So so one of the one of the big questions that I think a lot of people ask themselves as entrepreneurs who are married, and they've got this big vision, they have this, you know, in their business, right, let's just talk about the vision that they have for their business. They really want to take it to this new level, and they're excited about it. But then the spouse isn't on board with it. And they're having some issues getting support from their spouse. So like, what would you recommend to, you know, entrepreneur, married couples who are trying to get more support from their spouse?

Monica Tanner  24:23  
Yeah, so definitely start with prioritizing your partner because prioritizing your marriage or lifestyle, your partner is going to be like number one key to making sure that you're creating like you said the nucleus, make sure that that that your business is is in the right place because goals are different than vision. So you've created your vision and that is the nucleus. Now your goals need to just move around that right okay. So let me give you some some Clear tips, if you are looking for more support from your spouse, there's, there's a saying that that one of my good friends and mentor says is you can only be as successful as your spouse will allow you to be. And the way that we can, the way that we can feed our relationship and prioritize our marriage in a way that allows us to really, you know, meet, make our goals a reality, and our business is number one, put them first. Now there are so many ways that we can do this. And of course, your your your business and serving your clients in the way that you do takes a lot of time and energy. But a lot, but when you're doing that, a lot of times it feels like your spouse is getting just the leftovers, right. And so it doesn't have to take a lot of time and energy to prioritize your spouse the way I do. One of the ways I do this is through my daily five. So as an entrepreneur, things get on my calendar, I have my to do list and I try to just have five big things in a day that will move my needle forward, right. But one of those things always has to do with my partner every single time. So that leaves some for my kids, some for my business, but always one for my spouse, I don't want them to get the leftovers. So when I'm planning my day, I make sure that I've either set some time in there to give them a call gift, send them a text, pick up his favorite treat at the grocery store. You know, if I have a lunch date, maybe grab something he like always considering my spouse, as one of those big five have I have I prioritize my spouse today. So that's number one. Number two, is making sure that I take the time to transition from business owner, parent to lover. So those transitions aren't going to be so so so important in the way I like to describe this is by the TV show. Mr. Rogers, I don't know if you I'm dating myself, for sure. It was a very popular TV show when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. Dark. The way that it starts is Mr. Rogers comes in from being outside, he comes on to the set. And he takes off his blazer. And he puts on this house sweater. And he takes off his loafers. And he puts on these slippers, right. And that's his physical transition from being out in the world, to being home with his family. Now I realized our commute nowadays is like from our office to the living room or something like that. But it's still just important as important to have some physical visualization of that transformation. Now I'm putting my business, you know, there's never clocking out when you're an entrepreneur, but I've done what I needed to do for my business today. And now I'm transitioning into Father, you know, spouse, or whatever. And then when those kids go to bed, make sure you're transitioning somehow into lover and partner and be there for your spouse. So those transitions are really, really important. Number three, take the time to be fun and flirty. I always say this life is way too important to be taken so seriously. Now, like like, this is a story that I've told a few times, but my husband, one day was in our bedroom, and he was doing this big deals like this $20,000 deal or whatever. And he was on zoom, and behind the computer, right? And he was like negotiating whatever, right? And I just I walked in the room, I could tell who was like really intense or whatever. And I just lifted up my shirt, right? Like, I love to just be fun and flirty, because like, we can definitely start taking life too seriously. So I love to pinches but I love to just like rub shoulders with him. I love to

push him into the pantry and just start making out with him in front of my kids. I think that's so fun to gross my kids out like just be fun and flirty. And remember that like life is just way too important to take so seriously. So that's number three. Then let's see number four, showing appreciation and affection. So this is so so so so important. Like I like to tell people to think about reasons they're grateful for their partner for their life together for their situation. If you start your day off thinking about the things that you're grateful for the The amazing thing about Your brain is that your brain will find evidence of whatever you give it to look for. That's literally its job. So if you're looking for reasons to be grateful for your life and your partner and your marriage and your kids, then that's those are the things that are going to stick out to you over the course of the day. So you're setting yourself up, you're framing yourself to look for those things that fill your heart with gratitude. So that's number four. Number five, learn how to speak your spouse's love language, I cannot emphasize this enough, we there are so many ways to show love. But when you understand the way your partner really sees and appreciates love, you're like supercharging, whatever that is. And so those love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical affection, and acts of service. So those are the five. And an easy way to just kind of experiment with this is just try doing different. Try each one of those, you know, spend a day doing words of affirmation, spend a day doing simple gifts, spend a day, you know, doing acts of service. And then at the end of the week, just ask your partner like, hey, like, what did I do this week to make you feel loved and just like have a conversation about it, and you will learn so much about each other. So five love languages, super important. That's number five. Number six, try making date nights. Absolutely non negotiable. So I always teach this, there's 168 hours in every single person's week, like nobody gets more than 168 hours in a week. Three of those hours should be non negotiable. Having fun, connecting, showing love channeling that giddy teenager, no responsibilities, type, type energy with your spouse, so connect with them show this, this is emotional. This isn't physical intimacy, this is your time, three, at least three hours a week, you want to make sure that you just you make the arrangements, the kids are taken care of. You don't talk about business, you don't talk about things that are stressful. You just go and enjoy each other doesn't have to be expensive, or elaborate just has to be something that binds you together. Like make sure you're making memories, make sure you're laughing, make sure you're touching each other, just fall in love all over again, every single week. And then number seven, try believing a different story. So if you are struggling, and you're feeling like your partner just doesn't support you, try believing a different story. What if your partner really was supporting you, and you just don't recognize it. So try looking again, for all of the ways in which your partner really does support you. And that's it. That's the magic. Those are my seven tips for getting more support from your spouse. That is

Jake Anderson  33:21  
amazing. Gosh, thank you so much for sharing that. And, you know, as I'm like listening to this, I'm thinking as a listener, if you went through this, you need to go ahead, hit pause, go grab your notebook, get you a pen, come back, rewind, go back to the star, and then play it over again and really take some notes there because there's a lot of gold in those seven tips. And it's something as you're speaking about it, these are things that you know, especially like the date night, that's something that I have. I don't remember the last time I've been on an actual real date with my wife, like, you know, it's been it's been a while and you're right, like, take like when as you're saying this, I'm just getting excited. Thinking about like, hey, let's let's go like I remember our first day was a Mexican restaurant. And, and we were just, I'll share so she's if my wife listens is she's gonna kill me for saying this. But I'm gonna say is it

Monica Tanner  34:17  
worse than me lifting up my shirt? Cuz I mean, come on.

Jake Anderson  34:20  
It's well, I guess you know, it's it's pretty. It's i'll go ahead say it. She's so my wife. We were she was she was very, like, open like, as far as just, like anything. Like she didn't have much of a filter, I guess. But like she was never like rude or anything, but she definitely would speak what would be on our mind. I remember the Mexican restaurant. And we got some guacamole. And she's like, She's like, I could put guacamole on a piece of shit and eat it. Like I love this so much. And it's like our first day. I'm like, I like I think I'm gonna marry this woman like she like I love that. She was just that, you know, Ford and like, just carefree. And like, you know, it's like, it's like, you really he really likes guacamole. That's, that's something of my favorite food too. But I just remember like that I haven't had that in a long time. You know, I haven't had that like little, like moment where it's just us. And she makes some little comment like that we'd both laugh and it's just, it's just been a while. And I think for anybody listening If that's you, you know, schedule that date night and like put it in the calendar, like

Monica Tanner  35:22  
non negotiable in pen every single week. Just do it.

Jake Anderson  35:26  
Yeah, yes, I love that. I'm going to definitely take that advice among the others. And I'm familiar with the Five Love Languages too. And, and I think there's a book on the five love languages. Yes,

Monica Tanner  35:39  
by Gary Chapman, I, I recommend that all couples have the five love languages and you get very like people like really, really believe in the five love languages and people are like, I don't know. But either way, however you take that understanding those five ways to show love for another human being your partner, your kids, your business partner, like people that you work with, like understanding that there are those five ways to express love is a game changer.

Jake Anderson  36:11  
Yeah. And you asked, like, I know, for myself, there's just certain things that I'm trying to think what's like, I'm not I think touches one of them. Right? Like, like, touch to me. Like, it doesn't have as much of an impact. Like I'm more like looking for. I think it was

Monica Tanner  36:30  
quality time.

Jake Anderson  36:32  
Yeah, like quality time respect, I think was one maybe was that one. There's a funny

Monica Tanner  36:36  
time there's words of affirmation, there's Yes. axis service.

Jake Anderson  36:45  
Yes, gifts is the one I don't care about. That's the one I knew was one, I guess was the one that I was like, you know what I don't, I don't care about guests. I don't actually tell like don't even get me anything for my birthday. But you know, there certainly there are things that that certainly embrace that love far more depending on this vibe, and they definitely cover the spectrum there. So thank you so much for sharing that, Monica, I really appreciate just bringing this conversation to the podcast, it's something that is so important. And I think if you're if your marriage isn't right, then your business is going to suffer with it among other things in your life. So it's really important for people to understand, like if they are an entrepreneur, and they're trying to run their business, and they're trying to grow this big, massive vision, and they're all excited about it. But meanwhile, the marriage is like a little bit on the rocks, you know, listen to this podcast, and listen to what Monica has to say, because this is going to be a game changer. And it's not only going to if you want to grow your business, this is a really good place to start is to start with that relationship. So thank you so much for bringing this to the, to the podcast, and just want to end like if there's any final thoughts of just something that you would want to speak to that married entrepreneur, like something that is that you believe is really important to understand in that relationship and what they can start doing today?

Monica Tanner  38:11  
Yeah, well, you know, I shared that list. And that list is not meant to be overwhelming it like you don't get married marriage and life and business, all of it. It's a marathon and strength is built in with consistency, not in the big pushes, right. And so if we can just if you can pick one thing on that list, and just get really, really focused and good at it, and then pick another thing on that list. So making your spouse a priority, I absolutely guarantee will help you be more effective, more productive, show up better in every single area of your life when you truly make that a priority. And so again, not meant to be overwhelming, like you've got to pace yourself, but just work on those things. And I guarantee you're going to see an improvement over all the areas a rising tide raises all ships so so just pick a few things and and work on those things. And really, really, you know, make the commitment to make your spouse a priority. I love

Jake Anderson  39:25  
that beautiful way to start wrapping up this episode and to really put the final cherry on top here. How can people connect with you where they can? Where can they find you? You

Monica Tanner  39:36  
bet. So my website is www.on the brighter side of You can find links to everything I do there including all my social media, and my podcast, which is on the brighter side marriage for entrepreneurs, where I love to talk to entrepreneurs who are juggling all the things and creating amazing Results not only in their business but also in their family life.

Jake Anderson  40:04  
Awesome. Well, we will make sure that is linked up in the show notes and definitely go connect with Monica. She's amazing and just so honored to have you on the show to bring all the value on marriage and bringing this topic. So thank you so much. It's truly blessed. Yeah, thank

Monica Tanner  40:20  
you. It's been an absolute pleasure.

Transcribed by

Welcome back to another new week. It is Family First Entrepreneurship here on the Introspective. Being an entrepreneur is very demanding but we have to keep the work-life dynamics balanced. Included in this equation is our family, which always needs to be the top priority above anything else. For this week, we’ll talk about families and how they could be included in and positively affect your entrepreneurial life.

Relationship and Intimacy Expert Monica Tanner joins us in our first episode this week. A wife and a mother to four children, she is a weekly podcaster at ‘On the Brighter Side of Marriage’. Monica firmly believes that there are no two people on planet earth who love each other more than she and her husband and would love to help others believe that about their own marriage as well. She also believes that passionate female entrepreneurs can have it all; a strong marriage, a supportive family, and a successful business without any guilt or having to give up anything important. She helps women create a marriage that supports their business and a business that supports their marriage. So make sure not to miss this daily deep dive as we delve more into the parallels between marriage and entrepreneurship!

What You'll Learn

  • The importance of intimacy to a strong marriage and a successful business
  • The benefits of having a strong, connected marriage in helping couples to become better parents and better business owners
  • How does prioritizing your marriage help you gain the courage and confidence to achieve your business goals

“Entrepreneurship is the ability to create the lifestyle that you desire.” 

-Monica Tanner

Learn 7 tips to boost your business support at home with your husband.

Connect with Monica Tanner

Resources mentioned on this episode

On the Brighter Side of Marriage website:

7 Tips to Get More Support From Your Husband around Your Business:

Follow this Podcast

Thank you for taking a deep dive on today’s episode of the Introspective Podcast.  If you found this episode to be interesting, valuable, and provided some fresh perspective for your entrepreneur journey - then head on over to Itunes to subscribe and leave a review with your feedback.  If you’re not an Apple user, then feel free to leave a comment below with your thoughts.  Your feedback is paramount to the success of this show, and provides direction for how I can best serve you.

-Your friendly Podcast Host, Jake Anderson 

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